Monday
SHOULD THERE BE PRIVACY in a true love RELATIONSHIP?
It’s
important to understand that there is a difference between “privacy” and
“secrecy”. Every relationship should be built on trust and to achieve this,
there is need to trust and trust comes by open communication from both
partners which simply means to absence of secrecy and tolerance for privacy. Without trust, there is no respect and without respect, there is no
intimacy.
As
long as two people have made up their minds to be committed to each other, love
and care for one another, there should be room for privacy but not secrecy. Privacy enhances relationship while secrecy kills it (read 5 secrets to successful relationship)
You
might wonder: “how will one partner have privacy and not be secretive”?
Privacy
is when a partner gets a phone call and the other doesn’t jump up to receive
the call, it’s when the guy is alone with the lady’s phone and a text message
comes in, he doesn’t suspect it could be another guy and opens it to read
except he is asked to. Privacy is when the guy plans to organize a surprise
birthday party for his “sweetheart” and doesn’t let her know about it, it is when
the lady knows when she says something it will jeopardize the relationship and
she avoids bringing it up. Privacy is necessary to overcome some challenges
alone but it becomes destructive when they become secrets.
While
secrecy is covering up things with lies or withholding important information
that may destroy the relationship, secrecy is when a woman had an abortion in
her previous relationship and avoids telling the new guy. Secrecy is when a guy
has a disease and keeps the lady in the dark; secrecy has no place in intimacy.
The
reason for privacy is that there are some stories that are better left untold.
If you notice, when some ladies pick up their partner’s phone, the first thing
she does is to go through his received and sent messages. It’s not that she
doesn’t trust him; she just sees it as fun.
Then
in the cause of scrolling through the messages, she sees a message from an old
female class mate that says:
“Hello
dearie” before the real message starts, it might not have meant anything to him
but she begins to feel someone somewhere is beginning to like him, she starts
feeling insecure though she may not want to confront him to avoid him asking
questions about her trust for him, this is also applicable to the male folks.
Before you know it, they become interested in
one another’s calls and text messages, although they still “trust” one another.
Gradually the trust they use to have begins to diminish except if they
communicate with one another of their recent fears.
For a relationship to survive, it’s advised
that they become thoroughly candid with each other but avoid destructive
secrets which may destroy the relationship when the truth is finally let lose.
As
long as the two have decided to let each other into one another’s lives, they
should share their pain, joy and struggles together there should be room for
transparency.
Secrecy
makes a true love relationship less transparent and this will start giving room
for doubt and less commitment. If there is anyone who needs to know you best,
it’s your partner and the only true way to achieve this, is to make available
all the necessary information yourself.
Some
persons will say allowing your partner access to your calls, text messages and
mails while you two are yet unmarried is not a bad idea because it will help
build trust and others will say it's not advisable. Neither ways, every human
has thoughts which he/she doesn't feel like letting known to another person? As
long as your want it kept in your heart, don't let it become a secret. Remember that privacy and secrecy are divided by very tiny lines..
This post was written by Miss Rozzy. Miss Rozzy has contributed very interesting posts in this blog and she is interested in helping young ladies to experience successful relationship.
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