Monday
How to handle the problem of anger in your relationship
Talking
about anger in the relationship, you will agree with me that many people don’t
know how to control anger when it arises in their relationships. Take for
instance, there is a kind of misunderstanding between you and your partner and
the both of you felt cheated by the other or you felt that you are not at
fault and your partner felt the same way, both of you may end up breaking up
or causing more problems than intended. So instead of shouting on top of each
other; saying the worst things to your partner, calling him or her names,
blaming her for the problems, screaming at each other, why don’t both of obey
the simple rule of conflict management in relationship which states that ‘when the
other is angry and is making the bad and hurting statements to the other, the
one at the receiving end should not retaliate at that moment but should keep
quiet and try calming the situation down’ hope you understand the rule? It
simply means that if for instance, your partner is angry and is hurting you
with words you shouldn’t retaliate by hurting him or her too but that you
should try and be calm. This principle supports the claim that two wrongs
cannot make a right. If you find it difficult to forget, you can wait till
after two or three days to remind your partner of things he or she said to you
the other day.
Another
way to avoid nagging between you and your partner is by going out of the
nagging scene. This has its own positive and negative consequence. It is good
because it can help reduce the rate of nagging and help both you and your
partner to be relieved of the anger. The bad side effect of it is that it can
expose one of you to dangerous attitude such as drinking or damaging things or
even expose your partner to other opposite sex which may be a source of
everlasting break up. So, I recommend one to understand one self and partner
before embarking on this action.
Some people never mind of blames even if they are not at fault. This
can help solve the anger of the other party. You can do this by pleading to be
the one at fault and begging for reconciliation. If one of you is very humble
then, your relationship can last well. When the matter is calm, you can now
explain to your partner why you think you were not wrong and why he or she
should be blamed, at this moment, both of you may now see that it wasn’t the
best of ideas nagging and shouting at each other because of anger. It does not
matter how long you have being playing the peace maker’s role but the security
of your relationship that matters. Remember that nobody is perfect even you are
not; your partner may have problem controlling anger but is the most faithful.
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