Saturday

Why Partners Cheat in Relationship !!!



He/she is a cheat!
I can’t believe he/she could do such a thing!
After all I have done to make her/him happy!
On and on you go, weeping and ranting into the ears of all who care to listen. Yet you don’t care to know “why” he or she broke the promise.
Promises are meant to be fulfilled, but when the promise maker doesn’t fulfill it, he/she loses the trust that was built overtime within a split of second.
Whenever infidelity is mentioned in a relationship or marriage, people direct their fingers at the male folks, believing they are the perpetrators of such act, but I want to point out that women cheat likewise men.
I use to believe that men are “born” cheats and they should never be trusted. I had thought that only 10% of men are committed to one lady, but my orientation changed when I found out that there are faithful men except that the unfaithful ones are more in number.

But one wonders why do people cheat in their relationships and in marriages despite all the “I promise not to cheat on you”, “you mean the world to me” and so on and so forth sweet talks. There are still loopholes that question the sincerity of all such promises of “forever togetherness”
Although these promises are not lies, they are true and mean no harm, but when the promise maker gets to a dangerous crossroad, keeping the promise becomes a hard nut to crack.

Just as Willard. F. Harley, a psychologist puts it: “marriage is a complex relationship, perhaps the most intricate of them all. Unfortunately most of us don’t know what we are getting into when we say “I do”.
Relationships breakup and marriages fail when partners lack the skill and ability to fulfill each other’s need.
Have you ever wondered why two lovers who are strongly involved with one another, get married after courtship and all of a sudden begin to fall out of love, and before you know it, the woman is nagging, the man begins to look out and within few years, they are filling for divorce?
Take a time out to ask them what went wrong? The lady who was head over heels in love may sound this way:

“I found out he was cheating on me”
“I can’t believe this was the man I use to know”
“God! Was I blind?”
“He is such an animal”
Then the angry man says:
“She is a foolish woman”
“I never knew she was like that”
“She doesn’t even care about how I feel”
“I regret crossing her path”.

These two failed in their relationship/marriage not because they wanted to but because they couldn’t fulfill one another’s need. More often than not, being right or wrong for someone depends not on some mysterious compatibility quotient, but on how willing and able each partner meets the other’s needs.
According to a psychologist, there are five different basic needs of men and women in relationships/marriage:
For men:
1.      Sexual fulfillment for the married, men can’t do without this one.
2.      Recreational companionship
3.      An attractive spouse/partner
4.      Domestic support
5.      Admiration and I include compliment
For women:
1.      Affection
2.      Conversation
3.      Honesty
4.      Financial support
5.      Family commitment and I include adoration.

Although,the entire list may not be applicable to every individual. The needs of men and women are different that’s why it’s difficult adjusting when they are married. It is advisable that each partner sees the other as a part him/her that needs to be taken care of.

When a man marries his heartthrob, he promises to love, care and remain truthful to her all his life. This means that the woman will remain his only sexual partner till “death do us part”. He wants that woman to sit with him in the sitting room and watch his favorites TV game/ shows. He wants the woman to adore him when he pays the bills on time; he wants a beautifully dressed woman whom he can happily show off to his friends. He doesn’t want a liability who will ask him for money to buy salt for the food, nor a woman who is too busy with work and has a schedule for lovemaking.

For the woman, she wants a man who will give her a kiss while she is still in bed, pet her when she is ill, ask her what the matter is when she looks sad. She needs a man who will listen to her while she blabs, a man who will look at her after making her hair and tell her “sweets, you look adorable”. She wants a man who will look her in the eye and tell her “yes “and that’s the truth to build her emotional stability, a man who will not hesitate to pay the children’s school fees or drop them off at school. Not a man who will tell her how bad her breath smells or how much a chatterbox she is, or a man who doesn’t care if she had a bad day.

Understand that for one need to be met, the other has to be met too. Affection is the environment of the marriage, while sex is the special event. When a woman is not given affection, she cannot give the man sex.
Most women will say: “my partner is an animal” or “he has turned into a lusting monster”. He is “pawing and grabbing”, because he is badly in need of something, when he doesn’t get it, he looks out for it. It’s not that he doesn’t love his wife any more or the commitment is too hard to keep, just that he needs a fulfillment, same is applicable to a woman whose needs are not met adequately.

If you don’t make your partner always look forward to having a nice time with you, be ready to lose them to one who will. If you are not ready to place your partner’s needs above yours be calm another person will. In relationships and marriages, none is easy to handle but with open communication, selflessness and above all, with God’s help it’s made easy. kindly 'LIKE' and share this post.

This post was written by Miss Rhozzi.
Miss Rhozzi is interested in building women for a successful relationship. She is loaded with strong views on how modern ladies and partners in general can build a happy relationship and marriage life.

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