Saturday
Why Partners Cheat in Relationship !!!
Saturday by Unknown
He/she
is a cheat!
I
can’t believe he/she could do such a thing!
I
trusted him/her! (read: building strong relationship based on Trust and How to re-build trust in your relationship)
After
all I have done to make her/him happy!
He/she
promised not to break my heart! (read how to over-come the fear of heartbreak)
On
and on you go, weeping and ranting into the ears of all who care to listen. Yet
you don’t care to know “why” he or she broke the promise.
Promises
are meant to be fulfilled, but when the promise maker doesn’t fulfill it,
he/she loses the trust that was built overtime within a split of second.
Whenever
infidelity is mentioned in a relationship or marriage, people direct their
fingers at the male folks, believing they are the perpetrators of such act, but
I want to point out that women cheat likewise men.
I use
to believe that men are “born” cheats and they should never be trusted. I had
thought that only 10% of men are committed to one lady, but my orientation
changed when I found out that there are faithful men except that the unfaithful
ones are more in number.
But
one wonders why do people cheat in their relationships and in marriages despite
all the “I promise not to cheat on you”, “you mean the world to me” and so on
and so forth sweet talks. There are still loopholes that question the sincerity
of all such promises of “forever togetherness”
Although
these promises are not lies, they are true and mean no harm, but when the
promise maker gets to a dangerous crossroad, keeping the promise becomes a hard
nut to crack.
Just
as Willard. F. Harley, a psychologist puts it: “marriage is a complex
relationship, perhaps the most intricate of them all. Unfortunately most of us
don’t know what we are getting into when we say “I do”.
Relationships
breakup and marriages fail when partners lack the skill and ability to fulfill
each other’s need.
Have
you ever wondered why two lovers who are strongly involved with one another, get
married after courtship and all of a sudden begin to fall out of love, and
before you know it, the woman is nagging, the man begins to look out and within
few years, they are filling for divorce?
Take
a time out to ask them what went wrong? The lady who was head over heels in
love may sound this way:
“I
found out he was cheating on me”
“I
can’t believe this was the man I use to know”
“God!
Was I blind?”
“He
is such an animal”
Then
the angry man says:
“She
is a foolish woman”
“I
never knew she was like that”
“She
doesn’t even care about how I feel”
“I
regret crossing her path”.
These
two failed in their relationship/marriage not because they wanted to but
because they couldn’t fulfill one another’s need. More often than not, being
right or wrong for someone depends not on some mysterious compatibility
quotient, but on how willing and able each partner meets the other’s needs.
According
to a psychologist, there are five different basic needs of men and women in
relationships/marriage:
For
men:
1.
Sexual fulfillment for the married, men can’t do without this one.
2.
Recreational companionship
3.
An attractive spouse/partner
4.
Domestic support
5.
Admiration and I include compliment
For women:
1.
Affection
2.
Conversation
3.
Honesty
4.
Financial support
5.
Family commitment and I include adoration.
Although,the
entire list may not be applicable to every individual. The needs of men and
women are different that’s why it’s difficult adjusting when they are married.
It is advisable that each partner sees the other as a part him/her that needs
to be taken care of.
When
a man marries his heartthrob, he promises to love, care and remain truthful to
her all his life. This means that the woman will remain his only sexual partner
till “death do us part”. He wants that woman to sit with him in the sitting
room and watch his favorites TV game/ shows. He wants the woman to adore him
when he pays the bills on time; he wants a beautifully dressed woman whom he
can happily show off to his friends. He doesn’t want a liability who will ask
him for money to buy salt for the food, nor a woman who is too busy with work
and has a schedule for lovemaking.
For
the woman, she wants a man who will give her a kiss while she is still in bed,
pet her when she is ill, ask her what the matter is when she looks sad. She
needs a man who will listen to her while she blabs, a man who will look at her
after making her hair and tell her “sweets, you look adorable”. She wants a man
who will look her in the eye and tell her “yes “and that’s the truth to build
her emotional stability, a man who will not hesitate to pay the children’s
school fees or drop them off at school. Not a man who will tell her how bad her
breath smells or how much a chatterbox she is, or a man who doesn’t care if she
had a bad day.
Understand
that for one need to be met, the other has to be met too. Affection is the
environment of the marriage, while sex is the special event. When a woman is
not given affection, she cannot give the man sex.
Most
women will say: “my partner is an animal” or “he has turned into a lusting
monster”. He is “pawing and grabbing”, because he is badly in need of
something, when he doesn’t get it, he looks out for it. It’s not that he doesn’t
love his wife any more or the commitment is too hard to keep, just that he
needs a fulfillment, same is applicable to a woman whose needs are not met
adequately.
If
you don’t make your partner always look forward to having a nice time with you,
be ready to lose them to one who will. If you are not ready to place your
partner’s needs above yours be calm another person will. In relationships and
marriages, none is easy to handle but with open communication, selflessness and
above all, with God’s help it’s made easy. kindly 'LIKE' and share this post.
This post was written by Miss Rhozzi.
Miss Rhozzi is interested in building women for a successful relationship. She is loaded with strong views on how modern ladies and partners in general can build a happy relationship and marriage life.
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