Monday
Accepting that you’re wrong !
I don't care if I was wrong or not, I
have come to accept the fact that I wronged you. Somehow, somewhere, my actions
might have hurt you so, I'm sorry for I wronged you. by Kingsley (Dr.love.)
I want to begin this article by
telling you that there is nothing wrong with love or relationship, it us humans
who have made love seem unachievable. Go out there and you will see countless
number of divorce! The divorce rate in America for instance is at an alarming
rate, in countries like Nigeria, divorce rate is growing, relationships are
breaking up and making up. People are getting tired of falling in love. Well, I
was reading an article from one expert online and she said something that got
my attention. She said that relationship don’t work most times because we have
refused it to work. She further said that sometimes, we do it unconsciously and
unintended with our actions.
It is normal with humans, we
are very bias one way or the other. Not even the most holy person on earth
lacks the act of being bias. It is a problem. I want you to know that
relationship easily tells who you are and what you can do. We affect our
relationships with the way we perceive things, the way we judge them and the way
we attack things.
One thing I have come to
realize in life is that everyone wants to be seen as ‘good’, no one wants to
take responsibility; no one wants to accept blames. It is very difficult for
you to see anyone who is ready to accept blames even if he/she is sure that
he/she is wrong.
This is why I chose to write on
this topic: accepting that you’re wrong. Our actions affect
the other person who is in the relationship with us. I have really listened to
couples complain, talk, argue to me about the wrong the other person did and
one thing I realized was that the both of them in most cases were wrong at one
point or the other and were right at one point but the bias and selfish nature of humans made them to be blind of the other person's points. Are you with me? Did you understand my point?
Relationship is filled with
challenges and sometimes we wrong our partner unconsciously and even
consciously and we even try to defend such actions or justify them. The worst
thing you can do in your relationship is trying to defend or justify your
actions when you are too sure that you’re wrong. That is crazily bad and wrong
of you and I know most of us are just too guilty of this- Accept you are wrong
once your conscience tells you that.
How do I know I’m the person
who is wrong?
I know some of you may be
asking me this now but it is easier to discover if you’re wrong if only you can
learn to keep quiet. When that argument is getting hot, all you should do is
keep quiet and try to listen to what your partner is saying, there is something
truthful about what they are complaining no matter how small. Tina, a very
popular and successful self development online blogger said thus:
What’s
interesting is that in the heat of “battle”, when we are so consumed with
wanting the other person to see our side, we become blind to recognizing the
other person’s point of view – which is equally valid and understandable. It’s
like trying to put out fire with more fire, you will just end up with a bigger
fire. (For more about Tina, visit: www.thinksimplenow.com)
If you can calm down to listen
to the complains of your partner each time they complain, I believe that you
will see that there si something right about what they are complaining about. If you can go further to accept you wronged him/her and sincerely apologize, you will easily receive his own apology too. Learn to take your self away from that state
of seeing your own reasons, your own feelings and try to understand what your
partner is saying. Accept the fact you are wrong and apologize appropriately.
There is no gain fighting so hard to hold on to something or to win a fight between you and your partner.
I have a friend who
is always accepting the responsibility of anything that goes wrong in his
relationship. You can always be that saviour of your relationship-learn to
accept that you are wrong bearing in mind that there is something right about
what your partner is complaining about each time the both of you venture into
that hot seat of quarrel or argument.
Please, help spread the word by
sharing this post on your facebook wall, twitter, google plus and other social network
sites.
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