Wednesday
Why men cheat-part 2
In my first post of why men cheat in relationships, I talked about 3 points and I
promised to continue on the remaining points in one of my next posts so, here
are the remaining points on why men cheat in relationships. Well, before I jump
into that, I want to first clear this fallacious believe which states that:
‘all men cheat in relationship,’ that is a big fallacy because there are still
many men who are not cheating in relationships at all.
The only issue is that
these men who aren't cheating in their
relationships are very few when compared with those who are in the act of
cheating.(I mean sexual cheating, read cheating in relationship to understand
the 3 types of cheating in relationships). Well, the main purpose of this post
is to continue on the reasons men cheat in their relationship:
4.
Greed
Remember
that I was asking some set of men on why they cheat or have cheated before in
their relationship(s) and they gave me reasons which I arranged in scale of
most mentioned. The fourth most mentioned reason men cheat in their
relationship is because of greed.
One of the men actually said: “I know I could
have been contended with my wife but I wanted to have the taste of what other
men are having-greed, greed, greed is what drove me into cheating on my wife
but I have stopped it now…” You could hear what he said, greed push most men
into cheating.
This is
why some men who have beautiful and always looking sexy wives (partners) also
found themselves cheating. They are never contended with what they have. They
want more. They really wish natural laws can permit them to marry as many wives
as possible! (Remember that Christian laws forbid marrying more than one wife).
5.
Absence of sex
There
are many relationships out there in which sex is not obtainable between the two
partners. This is usually the case when the girl could be avoiding a
devastating heart break or because of her religious belief or she is still a
virgin etc while the guy in question does not have all these guidelines for
premarital sex. What he does is to go out and satisfy his sexual urge. One of
the men I spoke with said thus: “…I cheat because my girlfriend refused us
having sex…if only I can be having sex with my girlfriend, I honestly doubt if
I would cheat on her…” There are many men out there who are cheating because
there is absence of sex in their relationship.
6. Poor
sex at home
Though
none of the men I discussed with directly mentioned this point but from their
discussions, I could deduce this point. Some of them complained that they hardly
get sufficient sex with their partners.
7. Modernization
None of
the men mentioned this point directly too but I figured it out based on what
they told me. One of the men said: “You know what civilization has done to us?
It has added value to infidelity…most women are out there just like men and we
see them everywhere. For example, my wife is hardly with me.
She is always in
the office and when we eventually meet, both of us will be tired. No one to
spice up the bedroom moments and we both sleep most times till the next
morning. I find myself getting closer to other women who are either married or
in a relationship and they have the same storyline…we find ourselves getting
too attached and the next thing, we start hugging emotionally and sex may come in…”
He was
right with his points. Modernization has nailed marriage to some extent.
Another man further said: “…these days, you see ladies wearing something that
can sexually seduce you as a man! You know how easily we get seduced by seeing
a lady’s essential parts (and I nodded my head). It is shocking that some of
the women who do this are also married but it’s rampant among singles or girls
in high institutions. When we see all these, we find ourselves longing for
them. It is not our fault (I nodded my head), I’m a lecturer and I know what I
pass through each day…” Well, he has said it all. Civilization has made fashion
go crazy.
8: Fear
and revenge
Finally,
some of the men mentioned these two factors. But I noticed that these two
reasons are common among men who are in long term committed relationship. You
notice that as a result of fear and the uncertainty of tomorrow, some men
prefer to cheat in order not to lose everything. Especially where there is no
sex, some of them believe that the lady they are committed to may be taken away
by another man. One of the men actually said this: “…you know how inconsistent
women can be (I nodded my head), another man may snatch them away from you (I
nodded my head).
So, I cheated and I’m still cheating because I don't know if
my lady can wait for me. Before you know it, she will start saying that
time is running out of hand and she starts giving men chances in her life and
before you would open your eyes, she is married and you’re left with nothing.
Tell me, if you are committed to such lady and she disappoints you, what is your
gain? Nothing right? (I nodded my head). This is why some of us cheat so that
when something like this happens, we can hold on to the fact that we didn't
sacrifice our sexual desire for her…”
Those
were the statements of one of the men I discussed this topic with. I have to
stop here because the post is already long enough. I’m sorry for such a long
post again. I hope you are able to understand why men cheat. Finally, one of
the men actually said that he is cheating on his girlfriend because it doesn’t
mean much to men. He believed that men can engage in sexual relationship with
another lady without loving her.
I really understand his points but are all
these reasons men cheat justifiable? According
to a pastor I respect so much-Pastor Bimbo Longe, when I interviewed her about
infidelity she said thus: “…there is no reason or any room for infidelity in
marriage…” What about those who are not married but are in committed
relationship? I leave you to answer that. Don’t forget to help promote this
hard written article by clicking; LIKE, share it among your friends and comment
if you have anything to say about it.
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4 Responses to “Why men cheat-part 2”
13 April 2013 at 04:17
God bless you, you always hit the point keep up the good work yet to see a young my as sensible as you are
1 May 2013 at 09:20
http://nationette.hubpages.com/hub/Things-to-do-to-keep-your-mind-off-a-break-up
9 July 2013 at 10:44
Thanks for all your comments.
31 August 2013 at 10:06
Always on point sir. Kindsley, don't you think that some men also cheat because they inherited it from their dad who also inherited it form his own dad? Do you know why I'm asking? I have a close friend who is an adict of cheating in relationship. He already broke up with several ladies because of this problem and he is yet to stop it. He is currently cheating on his girlfriend His father broke up with his mum because he was caught cheating several times! I think he inherited it from his dad because the two look alike! Will love to hear your opinion on this Kingsley...
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Love to hear from you my friend